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Who says nothing is impossible. I´ve been doing nothing for years.
I`m here to pick you up when you fall. Whether I tripped you is another thing...
I once found a whip, a mask, a baton and handcuffs in my Mother-in-Law`s draw... who knew she was a superhero. Nice!!!
I like pressing F5. It`s so refreshing.
Imagine how bad it would be if everyone could hear what you were thinking.
I dance like people wish they weren`t watching.
Sometimes I think "What would Dexter do"?
When you have the opportunity to become a bigger person, take it because cake is delicious.
You said you wanted my advice, but I see you haven’t f*cked off or died yet.
Woke up to my teen cleaning the house for "no reason" and now I have a mystery to solve.
On the bright side, it’s Friday Eve Eve Eve.
I`m not a doctor, but I play one on eHarmony.
I don`t want to brag or make anybody jealous, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
Does anybody know how many toddlers you have to bring to `Toys For Tots` before you`re eligible for an Xbox?
Tell a therapist, Not Facebook.