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Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
Ladys have it easy, if they ever do start to loose an argument they can just start playing with their boobs
I wish I could write `` I Miss You `` on a rock and throw it at your face, so you can know how much it HURTS to miss you
Guys, Everyone. Listen. I`m going to say two words that will change your lives. Pizza Tacos. I know. Just breath.
What if 11:11 actually works but there`s one person in this world that`s wishing for everyone`s wishes to not come true?
Drinking always starts out as the best idea you’ve ever had.
Every paper towel commercial just reminds me that the cleanest option is to just not have children.
Ever look in a mirror wondering about the stranger staring back & then realize it`s your neighbor`s window and they`re calling the cops?
Where do all the ice cream men go in winter?
75% of men kiss their wives good bye when leaving the house. 100% kiss their house good bye when leaving their wives.
What if your soulmate is over there on Twitter while you`re here on Facebook?
Our mailman freaked out when he accidentally saw me naked ... So did all the other people at the post office.
I`m Outdoorsy, as in I like to get drunk and pass out in the yard....
1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes.