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Worries about the economy grow again after the world`s biggest yacht-selling company announce a drop in sails
Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It`s so fun to watch them freak out!
Protip: Never look up from your breakfast if you hear the words "gruesome discovery" coming from your TV on the morning news.
I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
Seems like we would be just fine with about half as many types of pasta
Just remember, every day is a gift from God. Well except for Monday.. Satan slips that one in. He’s a sneaky bastard.
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
You know it`s a really good bar when there`s a couple outside breaking up.
If I ever get off this couch, I’ll be unstoppable.
We have cars that park themselves but I still gotta wave my hand 15 times before a paper towel comes out the dispenser
Missed connection: you were washing your car in a bathing suit. I rode past your house 78 times. You threw a rock at me.
If your day was that bad, why do you assume we want to know about it?
Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don`t have to.
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
Now they are saying that the Zika virus is sexually transmittable. What kind of pervert is having sex with a mosquito?