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Do people who run know that we’re not food anymore.
A cash bar on parent-teacher conference nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.
The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That`s 15 minutes, right? I`m not reading too much into it?
The bat signal seems pretty useless if they need Batman during the day.
Better ingredients. Better pizza. Horrible acting. Papa Johns.
I`m having one of those days where my middle finger is answering all my questions...
if ever you need NOTHING, im here for you.
Must be nice to get married and finally know who the number one suspect in your murder case will be
If someone says “you’re funny” instead of laughing, you’re not.
Say what you want about the porn industry. But they are hard workers.
Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you`re standing outside watching your house burn.
I don`t make a very good first impression, but if you hang around, my forty-third one is pretty cool.
Just assume that we aren’t close enough for you to send me a game invites on Facebook.
My wife is driving me to drink. I hope she remembers to pick me up when I’m done.
If you want to talk to me on the phone, I need at least three days notice.