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Collecting my thoughts… I almost have a whole set! ;)
Is it rude to throw a breath mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?
Either my cooking’s improved or my family’s immune systems have strengthened.
Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
Facebook needs a "settle down" button.. You tap on a friend`s profile, that locks them out for a day so they can work through stuff privately..
Stole a cart from this woman at Walmart today. I like to think of it as playing grand theft auto suburbs edition.
Wisdom for the day is , hot cheetos are not breakfast.
Shouldn`t we get paid to use the self-service checkouts in supermarkets? It`s like we work there for a little while.
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
“Dad, I’m hungry.” “Hi, Hungry. I’m Dad.” - Every time.
If you have just started playing flappy bird I would like to warn you there is nothing up ahead but more dangling pipes and disappointment
If there is such thing as a fake noodle, does that make it an impasta?
Horse racing is like NASCAR only slower and with poop.
I really like this new reality show "Neighbor Without Drapes"
Sorry I drunk dialed you at 10am.