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Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
have you ever been like "what`s the day today? ... no i mean the like the number".
Yeah, I was dropped as a baby. Into a pool of sheer awesome.
I told everyone at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I won`t have to talk to them.
Thanks to the popularity of gifs, we are living in the golden age of silent films.
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
I really want to talk to you about how I don`t want to talk to you.
Legalizing same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan? ;)
DIET TIP: don’t eat chips right out of the bag. Get out just enough to eat until the pizza guy gets there.
You know you are getting old when a bunch of annoying teenagers get murdered in a horror movie and you relate more with the killer.
Coffee? I`ll have a cream soda ... One cup of coffee and I`m up all afternoon.
Sorry I poked you all over your body, but I was just looking for the off button.
Black Friday at my house consist of pants 100% off
Don`t sell yourself short, in fact, don`t sell yourself at all. I`m pretty sure it`s illegal