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I love work; it fascinates me. I can sit and watch folks do it for hours.
I have many talents, but giving an f*ck isn’t one of them
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands!
Perhaps Voldemort’s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
If everything tastes like us, why do we have to die? –Chickens
Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
Instructions for having an adventure: 1. Stand outside restaurant. 2. Wait for someone to ask if you`re the valet. 3. Say yes.
I can’t believe it’s 2012 and there is still no fold button on my dryer.
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
"Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas."
You look in good shape!!! Round is a shape isn`t it???
I am as lazy as the guy who designed the Japanses Flag
Dude, I see you are enjoying a cold Bud Light Lime-a-Rita .... I`m going to assume that`s your smart car parked outside.
Adulthood is basically sadness and paying bills.
No need to drive me crazy. I can walk from here.