Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t care how smart your phone is, it`s not going to change how stupid you are.
You lied....you don`t have a Klondike Bar do ya?
Alcoholic? No. Self-appointed booze quality control technician? Yes.
I won`t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
Dogs lick each other`s butts to tell each other they like them. Just like politicians
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
It`s a serious Lego project when the 1st thing my 5yo does is take off his shirt and gets me a beer from the fridge.
When I was younger I thought I was bipolar. Turns out I was just an a$$hole who was happy about it.
I bought powdered water but I don`t know what to add to it.
If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk less.
A smart man washes his hands after he pees. A wise man doesn`t pee on his fingers.
So who wants to tell the person who just threw a new phone book on my porch about the internet?
take it easy and if it is easy take it home
You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you’ll see a wedding ring.
is giving everyone permission to steal, and use this status.