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Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
If I had a dollar for every girl that told me I was unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.
"F@ck It" has gotten me through a lot of situations.
Facial recognition software can pick out a person in a crowd, but this stupid vending machine at work can`t recognize my dollar bill with a bent corner...
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
Hey, if it doesn`t work out, we can still be friends. Said no guy ever
I`m not lazy, I just rest before I get tired
Whenever I watch the TV show Friends, I imagine I`m the seventh friend, Dirk, who just stays home while all his friends do stuff without him.
Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.
As a future ghost, I`m kinda bummed out about the dress code.
What sucks about those little hotel shampoo bottles is there`s no room for the directions so you kind of have to wing it.
When I see someone yawn, I yawn. I wish it was the same with exercising....
People hate facing the truth. Luckily the truth doesn`t give a sh*t.
I bet the YMCA dance is alot harder to do in Chinese.
A friend suggested I see a therapist but the truth is, I like being f*cked up.