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Whatever I did to make you hate me, Iād like to know. I have other people I can use that on.
LOOK A UFO! Quick, grab the worst camera money can buy.
Where 5 minutes becomes 5 hours. Facebook.
I read my kids a few select facebook statuses before bed, kiss them on their heads, and whisper, "This is why we have to stay in school"
I wish my car was fueled by my lack of desire to go to work.
I`m gonna hang a Batman outfit in my closet to screw with myself when I get Alzheimer`s.
The difference between me & normal people is the normal
You`ll all be sorry when I figure out how to breathe fire.
When I see a girl with too much makeup, I just want to use my finger to write "Wash Me" on her face.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
Few people have the balls to admit when they`re wrong. Then again, few people have talking balls.
Happy 4th of July ! ... It`s a holiday. You know what that means... Ten million status updates saying the exact same thing. Get ready.
Never make an arm wrestle bet with a man who has been single for longer than 6 months.
I`m having an out of money experience.
If our phones were really smart, they would tell us to get off of Facebook and do something meaningful or constructive with our lives.