Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
ME: “We have a problem, the liquor store is closed.” HER: “That`s ok, I don’t drink.” ME: “Ok we have two problems.”
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She is nine-seven now, and we don`t know where they hell she is.
If you were a Pokemon, I`d choose you.
I bought a Tempurpedic mattress just so that I’d have an excuse to go to sleep with a giant glass of wine every night.
was on the treadmill for over an hour and I must say it is much easier with roller blades
Don’t be upset that you’re single; be happy that someone isn’t ruining your life.
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person. They`ve got nothing to lose." -Robin Williams
Shout out to people who are hard of hearing.
The downside of dating intelligent women is having to Google what they call you when it ends badly
Do you have to water a Pointsettia or do they die on their own?
My blood test came back as B+ Any tips how I can get an A+ next time?
i like boobs
I`m that friend you have to explain to people before you introduce me... And apologize for after.