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I have decided to stop doing things "Like a Boss" and will now do things "Like a Rhinestone Cowboy."
Laugh if you will but this night-light has an undefeated record at repelling Boogeymen.
I believe in karma, which is why I`m such a d!ck to total strangers, just in case they deserve it.
thinks we need to think like a first grade teacher and separate Romney and Gingrich next time they debate!
Ha, SUCKA`S! I just smuggled a bag of popcorn into the movie theater. Now I just need to borrow their microwave.
Never scratch your a$$ with chocolate on your fingers.
Pretending I`m a pleasent person all day is exhausting.
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then...
I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
Hash browns not tags.
I don’t want to think I’m getting old or anything, but all the noises I used to make during sex, I now make getting out of bed.
Home: The place where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
Why does McDonalds call it a drive thru when you have to drive AROUND the building?
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you?