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Always have faith and believe in yourself…well because..the rest of us think you’re an idiot!
Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
If you blow out the kid`s Birthday candles at enough parties, people will just stop inviting you to them.
I just ran butt a$$ naked through Walmart yelling "Stop that shoplifter! she got my clothes!"
I`m not a control freak. I just know what`s best...for everyone.
Most kids today wont understand the joy of playing with the telephone cord.
There’s a good reason I’m up this late: because I have to wake up really early.
Kids, because why would you want to sleep on more than 6 inches of your king size bed?
You should be required to read a book for every 10 selfies you take.
Guy- What`s your sign? Me- Stop
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
Black, white, gay, straight, Christian, Jewish... It doesn`t matter. It`s all good. But a Pepsi drinker...
This would be a lot more fun drunk - Me, to everything.
Just heard a lady say "When in doubt, get a pizza"... I don`t know who this woman is but she`s my new life coach.
The best thing about my phone screen shattering is that it now matches my dreams and aspirations.