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you know....I wasn`t planning on going for a run today....but those cops came out of nowhere
This beer tastes like future mistakes.
Flies only live for 24 hours.. Except for the ones that get in your house. Those bastads live forever.
Here`s $30. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
DRINK BEER SAVE WATER..www.godrunk.com
I wish the buck stopped here…I could use a few.
I call it a Cupcake Salad. And I don`t see how it`s any of your business.
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children don’t know very much about children.
I tried to give a cute waitress my phone number by writing it on the credit card receipt but accidentally tipped her 9 billion dollars.
take a left on crazy, keep going until you hit insane. Follow that down to lunatic, turn right on insomnia, way past retarded and there you are @ my place!
Don’t start an argument with a girl because they have 45030194 GB memories and will bring up something you did at 2:27PM on April 23rd 2008.
Does running out of money count as exercise?
I’m going back to sleep. I refuse to give up on my dreams that easily.
I like to track people down, knock on their front door and say "we have ten people in common on Facebook, can I come in ?"