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I would like to remind everyone it`s not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off.
Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
Love is like hearing your favorite song for the first time. Then listening to it over and over again till you hate that song.
The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Dear Mom, If all my friends jumped off a cliff, it`s because it was my idea. Sincerely, Your child is a leader, not a follower.
"Any way you can speed this up, officer? I`m obviously in a hurry."
None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
Nothing ruins a perfectly good mood like reality.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does
For the record, you`ll need a turntable needle.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
I don`t know if my stomach is growling cuz I`m hungry or if that`s my liver crying cuz it`s the weekend.
For someone who can`t put on a pair of socks without falling over, I sure do manage to get a lot done every day.
I`ve had this ant farm for a year now and these lazy bastards still haven`t grown any crops.
Picking your nose doesn`t make you a bad person. .... but what you do with the booger will define you.