Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sandals or shoes? I have adorable toes. All 12
Remember kids, NEVER light fireworks. Let the adults, who have been drinking all day, light them instead!
The sole purpose of a child`s middle name, is so he can tell when he`s really in trouble.
It takes balls to be a man.
My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn`t walk to the donut shop.
I`m celebrating 1 year of sobriety today ... I think it was 1989 ... Cheers!
You have to hand it to Subway for convincing us it`s acceptable to eat an entire loaf of bread for lunch.
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners...
I`m drinking like there`s snow tomorrow.
Yo! My friend won a trip to China. He´s out there now... trying to win a trip back.
People are always gonna talk about you, so you might as well give them something good to say.
Maybe America will believe in global warming if we make it a Snapple Fact.
Even atheists make bargains with God when the toilet water threatens to overflow at a friend`s house.
QVC has agreed to purchase the Home Shopping Network for around $2 Billion...OR just 100,250,627 easy payments of $19.95!
I wish I could forget you as easy as I forget my passwords.