Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love a good nap. Sometimes it`s the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.
Business Plan: 1. Hold sign that says "Free Hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
If each day is a gift, I`d like to know where I can return Monday.
is actually feeling pretty much okay about not accomplishing anything this year.
In an alternate universe cats feed humans Lean Cuisines while muttering "I don`t know how you eat that sh!t".
A lot of talk from the peasants lately about my arrogance.
We spend 33% of our life sleeping, 33% wanting to be asleep and the rest apologizing to women.
I don`t know if I have a stalker, but if I do could you drop off some beer? Thanks
Today`s Facebook forecast: Partly boring, increased drama, and a really good chance of bullsh*t.
Iβm just SOOO busy. I spend 70% of my day telling people how busy I am and the other 30% trying to make myself look REALLY REALLY busy.
Obesity: When you buy a hula-hoop and it fits you.
had a great time horseback riding today but then I ran out of quarters
I`d probably get a lot more done if it wasn`t for me.
"in other news⦠it turns out being mayor of Toronto is all that its cracked up to be" - George T. Ignace
Back in the day, Mom gave us two dinner choices. What she cooked or jack sh!t....