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I have a confession to make. I was born with a rare disease called “Amazing.”
I`d rather run into the four horsemen of the apocalypse than a group of women out on a "girls` night."
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with pretty daughters do.
is admitting to pushing Humpty Dumpty, he had it coming!!
One day we the women will rap the men lets see how they like it!
I just responded to a text message with: I can`t hear you, you`re breaking up.
“I” before “E” especially after “P”. Mmmm pie
Make fun of George Bush all you want, but he would have found a way to bomb North Korea before they shut down Hollywood.
It`s not condescending if they`re stupid.
I don`t work that hard, I just make everything look way more difficulat than it is...
eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone?
If you`ve never actually got dressed, got in your car & pretended to drive "to work" to get a chick to leave your house then you`re not me.
Tried to plug my charger in the wrong hole. Siri was like STOP " I don`t do that ".
"Sarcasm is a body`s natural defense against stupid."
I`m going to stop off at the fabric store before my next status to get some new material!