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Once and for all, I agree to ALL "the terms and conditions" that have or will ever exist!
When in doubt, just do the opposite of whatever the person wearing pajamas in public is doing.
I hate when the person I Facebook-stalk never updates anything.
I thought 70 was the new 50, but the cop still gave me a ticket.
I quit my job at the helium factory today. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
Please drink responsibly this weekend and don`t drink and dri......Wait this is Facebook, most of you probably won`t leave the house! ... Good talk!
My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn`t walk to the donut shop.
I`ve probably spent a solid year of my life just staring into the refrigerator
Free middle fingers for everyone!!!
If a man says you`re ugly, he`s being mean. If a woman says you`re ugly, she`s jealous. If a little kid says you`re ugly, then you`re ugly.
And the day after Christmas has revealed that the holiday is just an elaborate ruse to get you home to fix your parents computer problems.
Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn’t doing his part of the chores around here.
Just tore the tag off my mattress and there’s nothing the feds can do about it. MUAHAHAHAHA!!!
I`ve finally decided to do something about my weight. Lie.
I rather read the software license agreement for my computer than some peoples Facebook status drama on my newfeeds