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Bologna sandwiches are parents way of saying... it`s my legal obligation to feed you something.
I`m a really nice guy before you get to know me.
Do you want to know Victoria`s Secret? Their lingerie doesn`t look the same on your girlfriend as it does on their models..
There are no bad photos. That’s just how you look sometimes.
I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone
If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!
Please don`t post that political joke you just came up with. . . it really wasn`t that funny to begin with. Thanks for understanding. -the rest of us
Why do they write PIZZA all over the box? What else could possibly be in there???
I`m glad I`m me, I don`t think anybody else could take it.
My ex got run down by a bus today. I thought "Wow, that could have been me!" but I can`t drive a bus.
"keep moving.....nothing to see here"
It`s a small world, but I wouldn`t want to paint it.
Sometimes I think I’m too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop.
My p@nis was in the Guiness Book of Records. Untill the librarian kicked me out
I always look out for #1 ... unless I`m walking thru my yard, then I look out for #2