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I just saw someone by themselves not looking at a phone. Hope they`re ok.
[the instructor clearly frustrated with me on first day of veterinary school] "It doesn`t matter if its a dog, it`s still called a cat scan"
I’m exhausted just thinking of everything I have to do.
If you`re sick and tired of every Asshole on Facebook asking you to copy and paste stuff as your status, please copy and paste this as your status.
No matter how much you push the envelope - it`ll still be stationery.
Targeted ads are trying to sell me a new mattress nowadays. With how much Google knows about me you`d think they`d cap themselves at something like $5 footlongs or stationary.
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it.
If looks could kill, mirrors would be the leading cause of death among ugly people
Sometimes I like to lie in bed, stare at the ceiling and think what it would be like to stare at other ceilings.
A moment of silence to all the kids who can’t wait to become a teenager because they think it’s fun..
Uses 3 gallons of water to rinse out yogurt container so it can go into recycling bin
I need to hire someone who will follow me around and just knock the unhealthy food out of my hand.
One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours. About the same as a common Monday on Earth.
Sorry I said "nice phone" when you showed me a photo of your baby.
.Monday: No. Tuesday: Ugh. Wednesday: Why. Thursday: Omg. Friday: Finally. Saturday: Yes. Sunday: Crying.