Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I should start carrying a pool noodle in my car and randomly smack cars when stuck in traffic
Is it safe to take off my Winter Solstice Glasses yet?
This one isnt that funny, keep scrolling.
Sarcasm: just one of the many services I offer ;)
Swans mate for life...in case you were wondering what made them so mean.
If your girl sets her Facebook relationship status to “Widowed”, it’s time to pack a suitcase as fast as possible.
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries".
This Kit Kat commercial is making some awfully big assumptions about both my generosity and my number of friends.
I`m always on the verge of running three miles, or drinking a bottle of Vodka
I didn`t sleep well last night so this morning I made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water. Half way to work I realized I forgot my car.
Porn Spoiler.......The plumber doesn`t fix the leak in the kitchen sink...
My life has a surprising lack of dance battles.
50% of people believe sex is "the connecting of two people`s souls through two people`s bodies, as one." The other 50% are men.
Some tattoo artists need to just say, "no, I`m not doing this sh!t."
It takes me like three days to wake up in the morning.