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My safe word is letsgetmarried.
I just read that Lindsay Lohan is headed for rehab. It`s like 2008 all over again. Or 2009. Or 2010. Or 2011. Or 2012
Relationships are like bathrooms. I`m in them a lot longer than I need to be, probably cause I`m playing on my phone the whole time.
*Spoiler Alert*--- Siamese cats are just one cat ... not two cats in one.
no one is perfect thats why pencil have eraser
My hand has never pumped so hard for a little squirt. Stupid empty soap bottle.
You`re in your 20`s... you don`t have "haters"... you have "adults" that think you are "annoying"
I try not to laugh at my own jokes. But we all know I`m hilarious.
I never use the phrase, "Your guess is as good as mine" because, well... it`s not.
If you recieve something that says,”Send it to all your friends” , then please don`t consider me as your friend.
We didn`t take a video recording of our child`s birth but we have some awesome video of his conception.
If I had a crystal ball to see 5 years in the future, I would have 2020 vision.
I just lost my mood ring, I don`t know how I feel about that.
Whoever made up the saying "It`s the thought that counts" never got a pair of crocs for Christmas.
You`re annoying, but honestly, I`ve been annoyed by better.