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My friend works at the morgue and apparently tonight is open mike night.
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
How do they even grow boneless chicken`s?
When in doubt, take a nap.
Maybe Mondays are not that bad. Maybe its your job that sucks balls.
Dear facebook, please quit asking me what`s on my mind. Eventually I`m going to get in trouble if I keep telling you.
A bunch of us are going out for pancakes when Facebook is over, if you want to come along.
Congratulations! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
Shout out to all the ladies at church today in the same clothes from the club last night.
I was planning on doing something today, but I haven`t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
I`ve just been hit in the head with a werthers, and I thought........... That`s original!!!
It is possible to stay in your room all day and be perfectly happy.
Up to date Girl Scout cookie sales by states: California: 138,000 Boxes Florida: 129,000 Boxes Virginia: 126,000 Boxes Colorado: 8 Million Boxes
I got up this morning and think I saw my shadow. I´m going back to bed for six weeks.
Friday. The golden child of the weekdays. The superhero of the workweek. The welcome wagon to the weekend. The famous F word we thank God for every week.