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Why hasn`t anyone invented a button next to the snooze which emails your boss to say you`re gonna be late?
Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
Shhh...you had me at "alcohol may intensify effect..."
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" -- Girlfriends in the 17th century probably
Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent`s face there is no known comeback.
I never said I hated you. I just said that if you where on fire, I would consider roasting marshmallows. Big difference.
There is a 100% chance that I’ve called some of the most wonderful people in the world the most horrible things imaginable while in traffic.
Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
I just want to be perfect... Nah just kidding, I love being weird
99.9% of lol’s are lies.
Lets watch a reality show about nasty rednecks acting like rednecks, but get mad when one of them says something a redneck would say
None of my girlfriends even know they`re dating me.
Wives give sound advice. 99% sound, 1% advice.
Good rule of thumb: if you see an adult riding a children’s bicycle, you’re probably in a bad neighborhood.
hates when I´m singing along with the radio and the artist messes up the words!