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Pandas are proof that if you have a cute enough outfit no one will call you fat.
We can`t deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.
If you speak too slowly, I will complete all your sentences in my mind in ways that makes your story much more interesting
Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one.
My house looks like I`m losing a game of Jumanji.
This prefessor`s nuts. He keeps saying pie is square. I know better, pies are round, cakes are square!
I believe in karma, which is why I`m such a d!ck to total strangers, just in case they deserve it.
People with the loudest car audio systems usually have the worst taste in music.
Does anyone have like twenty thousand dollars they don’t want? Asking for myself.
loves poetry, long walks and poking dead things with a stick.
I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.
Life`s most terrifying 10 seconds: Being held hostage in the corner of the shower by cold water.
I hate when people say, "I gotta get my body right for the summer." ...like, wtf are you going to do about your face???
A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in.
The best part about being over 40 is we did most of our stupid stuff before the internet.