Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you`re in.
I don`t know what`s scarier. Houses with Halloween decorations or houses that still have up Christmas decorations from last year.
Great idea for an April Fools Prank ... Hide all of the desktop icons on someone`s computer and replace their wallpaper with a screenshot of their old desktop.
Its that time of year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last year.
My 6yo`s homework today is learning how to count backwards. Yep, that teacher knows about DUIs alright!
Getting to places would be so much easier if I had a helicopter.
I`ve started an elimination diet, It`s where I eliminate anyone from my life who talks about their diet.
I`m just a boy...standing in front of a girl...asking her to lov.....aw who am I trying to fool. I just want in your pants.
I`d rather run a marathon than listen to someone talk about running a marathon.
Sometimes it’s just better to buy new Tupperware than to risk opening the leftovers.
Just bought an exercise bike today because my treadmill works fine for laying my pants on, but it won`t accommodate hanging shirts on hangers.
Porn is a lot like yoga pants. Not everybody should be in them.
Some mornings it`s best to just fill the sink with coffee, dunk your head in it, and suck.
I`ve decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term `Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."
Wow, that Macy`s parade is crazy! The Kanye West float just cut off Snoopy and said Woodstock can fly better!