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Nothing says "My life isn`t going exactly as I planned" quite like being at Wal Mart at 1am.
There is no such thing as a stupid question, but there are such things as stupid people who ask questions.
The early bird catches the worm. And the late bird catches one of the other trillion worms left. What`s your point?
You`re probably wondering how I post so much while maintaining a loving marriage and two amazing kids. The key is neglect.
Whenever I start to hate my job I think about the camera crew who has to follow the Kardashian’s 24/7.
I ate a shepherd`s pie for lunch. He was pretty upset about it.
I wish I could just cut out the middleman and have the light honk when it turns green.
I finally found a simple and easy way to deal with my weight problem. I threw my scale out.
For the record "Wanna do it?" is not foreplay....
The naked truth, is always better than someone’s best dressed lie.
The “Slow Children Playing” signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?
I threw a shotgun shell at my daughter`s date. ..then I told him it`s much faster after 11pm
I`m smiling, that alone should scare you.
They say 15 minutes of exercise every day will add 3 years to your life. The problem is that it adds the 3 years to your 80s not your 30s.
Here`s a crazy trick to avoid looking fat in pictures: Lose weight.