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2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet.
That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! – no one ever
Wtf? I was always told to treat people the way I want to be treated.. Stupid sexual harassment charges pending.
Two of the most honest people in the world; drunk people and little kids
Video Game Logic: Everyone worse than me is my bitch and everyone better than me has no life.
I read in the Bible that people used to get stoned to death, that`s a lot of weed.
I`m not mental, other wise the rubber duckies would have told me by now...
People should be required to pay an extra dollar for every syllable of their coffee order.
If you were born after 1990, you will never know the frustration of having to rewind your parents porn tapes to the exact same spot...
What makes fancy green beans fancy?
I live in a small town where the population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregant a guy leaves town.
I`m sorry. . . I didn`t mean to stare. . . it`s just that I have never seen stupid of this magnitude up close before
Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever...
You know, rumor has it that the Mona Lisa may have been the first selfie.
You call it reckless driving, I call it searching for my lighter.