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Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
There`s never been a lazier group of people than the ones that settled on naming a candy bar "Whatchamacallit."
My wife just said that I was the worst behaved out of all her children.
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
In the beginning, God created Heaven and Earth. Everything else was made in China
After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
Suddenly my prison fantasy football league just got real.
When I rule the world, it will be illegal to have an opinion until you`ve proven that you are not an idiot.
Be nice to me ... I may be hot one day.
Whenever you feel nobody cares or loves you. You should ask yourself...Am I TOO sexy?
Apparently telling the airline stewardess that airplane food is "da bomb dat hijacked my tastebuds" is not considered a compliment......
Let’s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.
You want me to smile? How can I smile when 28% of Americans aren`t getting enough fiber?
~WARNING~ I will more than likely offend you at some point in time
What was that idiot thinking when he invented white underwear?