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With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
I`ve decided that I`m an ass man. Don`t get me wrong, horses are beautiful. They just aren`t as cute as donkeys.
I love a woman in uniform. I mean naked.
A house is not a home until you can find all light switches in the dark.
Look in the mirror and tell me that God does not have a sense of humor.
Billion dollar idea: A phone that charges using body fat!
The best black Friday deal ... sleep - $0.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.
There`s always cake to celebrate happy moments, but I really think cake would do better during the bad times. Got fired? Have a cake.
Not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time consuming.
The most frustrating thing I`ve ever tried to do was throw away a trash can.
I`m tired of hearing about Republicans this and Democrats that. For Christ`s sake people, don`t you realize on July 15th the Twinkie comes back?!?!?!?!
You`re always ahead of schedule when it comes to disappointing me.
If you can`t say something nice about someone, you probably know the same people I do.
Conserve energy: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?