Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate grocery shopping. That`s why I just steal a full cart when somebody turns away. I never know what I`m getting, but it sure is faster.
According to Tetley the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag so i slap her arse and shout "cup ot tea fatty"
Checking the time on your phone twice because you were`nt paying attention the first time
If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it.
These ‘energy saving’ light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.
Wake up, kids! Bees can`t even read, much less spell. IT`S A SCAM!
I get worried when someone posts a kitten pic with a foreign language, I don`t know if they`re showing a cute kitty pet or their dinner.
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
My favorite breed of dog? Good question, thanks for asking. Either a corndog or a hotdog.
A hot woman telling me about her boyfriend is like setting money on fire in front of a homeless person.
Feeling bored? Post a status on Facebook that says "Barack Obama 2016" and buckle up for the ride of your life.
My status would be a lot funnier if you could see my back-up dancers.
They say dolphins are the second smartest animal after humans, but I`ve never seen a dolphin with a face tattoo.
Know what? If they had Neosporin back in 1931, that nasty scar on Frankenstein`s forehead would have been far less noticeable.
Sometimes I do totally awesome and amazing things just to throw people off.