Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided, if they had built their towns big enough for another person
Change is always hard.... Especially when a jar of it falls on your head.
I`m too lazy to be a stalker. You`ll have to come here. Bring coffee.
Is "drunk" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now...
I don`t have ADD. It`s just that everything is more interesting than what I have to get done.
*Spoiler Alert*--- Siamese cats are just one cat ... not two cats in one.
I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9.
I hope Breaking Bad ends with Jesse waking up from a dream in the middle of Mr. White`s chemistry class.
I need a better plan of action when my phone rings than throwing it.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes and sighing heavily and crossing her arms and holding in a fart.
Friends are like slinkys, they are twisted as heck but you can`t help but laugh when they fall down the stairs.
Whenever I see a celebrity photobomb, I`m like, that`s so relatable. I too constantly ruin moments and think I`m more fun than I actually am
Friends are like condoms… they protect you when things get hard.
A good thing about dating a vegan is that you could kill 2 birds with 1 stone, when you buy flowers because they`re also a snack for later.
I pulled my wife`s panties to the side.......then put the rest of her socks in the drawer.