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People who don`t know what they want should not use the drive thru!
*breaking news music plays* Last thought of the night: Why is now everyone talkin` bout "twerkin`"? Man, that shyt been `round since the days of Hammer pants and spandex shorts!!!!
Whoever invented self checkout greatly overestimated the general intelligence of the human race.
They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn`t mean to eat it. I don`t want to be a bug.
I like telling people to "grow up" because even if they hate me I can visit them ten years later and say "Took my advice I see"
Everything is so much funnier when you`re not allowed to laugh.
My ex warned me that I would never find a girl like her again....THANK GOD!
Some people just bring out the psycho in me
Take Note: a stress ball can be used for throwing at people who stress you out.. You`re Welcome..
I guess if you spoke your mind, you´d be speechless, huh?
Just hired two Private Investigators to follow each other. I`ll keep you posted......
If you`re sad/single/both on valentines day just remember you can buy 40 chicken nuggets at McDonald`s for $8.99
I may not be the only egomaniac around here, but I’m the only one that matters.
I don`t blame Congress. If I had $600 billion, I`d be irresponsible too.
I don’t know who or what is doing it, but one day I will find the thing that continues to steal one sock and destroy it.