Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you are offended by the things I post on FB you can only imagine the ones I don`t post.
A dog running a hundred miles to retrieve a stick? That`s pretty far-fetched.
Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it`s to be less of a nerd.
I hate when I’m comfortable in bed and I forget my iPhone in the other room!
I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?
Much like a dog, men will pretty much do anything you want if you feed them first.
My kids are the reason I wake up every morning. Really freaking early. Every...Single...Morning...
If you enter a room and there`s no food, you`re in the wrong room.
I might get a job cleaning mirrors,its a job I can see myself doing.
Go home Polar Vortex....yer drunk.
I don`t need WebMD to tell me what`s wrong with me, I have my mother.
Some people say I`m a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again you`re fired"
I hate when I`m admiring my good looks from a car`s window reflection and the people inside think I`m staring at them.
These Jehovah`s Witnesses are getting creative. They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant.
I love watching The Simpsons. They never get old.