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Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
I`m one more bottle of wine away from starting a blog.
You ever wonder why it`s only women who need exorcisms?
Everyone has a right to their own opinion, no matter how wrong they are. And that`s why we have a problem.
just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream
In my porno they`d deliver the pizza after they had sex because otherwise it`d just get cold.
If you see someone crying, ask if it`s because of their haircut.
You call it free samples, I call it a free all you can eat buffet.
Dear future boyfriend/girlfriend, where the hell are you?
I`ve always wondered why they don`t have a pregnant Barbie doll? Turns out Ken comes in a different box...
If Mary Poppins floated in on an umbrella today, they`d shoot her out of the sky with a drone.
It`s that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids... I meant my kids.
Was that lightning? ... No, they`re taking pictures for Google Earth.
What`s the point of a highschool reunion? I`ve got Facebook. I already know you got fat.
Yesterday I saw something that reminded me of you. I almost stepped in it!