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It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
ah Saturday, where it`s socially acceptable to drink in the morning. ;)
I put my phone on airplane mode, and it dragged me out of my seat.
I think I really have an amazing butt. Every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say "what an ass.."
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
"Do not touch" must be one of the scariest things to read in braille
I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. “My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl.”
Dear naps, I`m sorry I was such a jerk to you as a kid.
Okay kids don`t ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger`s houses except on the day we worship the devil.
I finally stopped caring what other people think ... I hope everyone`s ok with that.
Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close.
I walked briskly with scissors today. I’m pretty wild.
I can either be on time or wearing pants. Pick one.
I`m actually kind of handsome when you`re drunk and the light is low and there are no other dudes around and you have low standards.
It`s all rainbows and sunshine until he breaks your heart, then it`s voodoo dolls and arson reports.