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I think before we vote we should get the politicians drunk. That way they would speak what`s REALLY on their minds.
I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::…:::::
I have the rest of my life to be an adult.
Just think of me as the guy next door. With a telescope.
The heat index is somewhere between OMG and WTF!
I Got so Drunk Last Night ,.I Walked Across the Dance Floor to Get Another Drink, and I Won the DANCE COMPETITION...!!
If you have no internet history you silently admit wrong doing.
If you give up smoking, drinking, and sex, you don’t live longer, just seems longer.
A lot of people don`t know this, but you can quietly like or dislike Obama.
My head has that drunk on cheap alcohol feel without me getting to actually drink the alcohol :(
Marriage teaches you forgiveness, compromise and tons of other things you wouldn`t need if you`d stayed single.
I`ll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I`ll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can`t reach the remote.
Just signed a $320,000, nine year deal with my therapist.
i dont have drain bramage.
Ok ... I just had a talk with myself, and it did not go well. Now I`m grounded.