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I`m super lazy today! Which is like normal lazy, but I`m also wearing a cape.
So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
To all them girls who go out , looking sexy as hell but have boyfriends.......Please continue to do so when you`re married.
I`ve been starting my diet tomorrow for the last 20 years.
"Waiter, I`d like to send this back" -m`am, I believe that`s your husband.
"This is bullsh!t" - bull farmer giving barn tours
After years of commercials, I still have no idea what a Go Daddy is
The lyrics for "hush little baby" are basically saying "I will buy you anything if you just shut the hell up"
I can`t be trusted with your alphabet magnets.
You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can’t conjugate verbs.
Presidents’ Day is just another made up holiday to sell more presidents
Spiderman`s Spidey sense is just really spot on anxiety.
Instead of laughing my a$$ off, I`m going to start laughing my stomach off. I`d rather lose that.
I know u r but what am I ?
People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V "Tuesday"