Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.
I started to question my sanity this morning, It told me to "Shut up and chew through the straps....). I was free by noon......Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
This lady thinks repeatedly pushing the already-lit elevator button will summon it faster. I think I’ll push ALL the buttons when we get in.
Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now.
Dad: Son its a fact that masturbation can lead to blindness. Me: Dad... Im over here ..
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
If money cant buy happiness,explain beer!
Hey guys,,, Which sounds better: No longer rabid?, Or rabies free since 2003?........ I`m trying to update my e-harmony profile
That Awkward Moment when you’re being sarcastic and someone believes you.
Sometimes I meet people and feel sorry for their dog.
What happens in Vegas stays on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Vine, and medical records.
I wish "You idiot" was an appropriate way to end a work email.
It would be so cool to be able to see an album of all the pictures you’ve accidentally photobombed in public.
If Shakespeare is correct and "all the world is a stage" then I seriously would like to be in control of that trap door.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.