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Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.
Today I will kick a$$, and make dreams happen...but first, Coffee.
I wish there was more BitStrips and photos of giraffes on my Facebook
If Monday had a face, I´d punch it.
NEWS FLASH: Man arrested for having sex with a tree.....Police confirm he had wood!!!
whoo hoo...I have new gutters. Please try and keep your mind out of them.
You may think it`s bad grammar but I assure you it`s just laziness.
Yeah I`m married, but get one thing straight,,, I do WHAT I want, WHEN I wanhjkjhgfd,, THIS IS SCOTT`S WIFE, HE HAS TO GO NOW, HE SAYS GOODNIGHT.
is without a doubt, the most popular and best looking person using this laptop.
I always wanted to buy a Parrot and teach it to say, "Help, they`ve turned me into a parrot!"
Sometimes the problem with reality is the lack of background music.
"Be strong" I whisper to my coffee.
Next time you ride on a roller coaster, take some spare bolts with you and just as it starts to move, tap the person in front of you and say, "these just fell out of your seat."
People without kids: I`ll never yell at my kids ... People with kids: I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SPIT THEIR GUM ON THE ROAD, JUST WALK!
The early bird needs a punch in the throat.