Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Smooth move.........ExLax
All I see on Facebook is penis, orgasm, bang him, bang her, bullwhip, masturbate, porn, tits, and then I read everyone else`s posts..
Ever wondered why there is a stairway to heaven, and a highway to hell? There´s apparently more traffic going to hell!!
Dating should be like buying a car... You should get to talk to the previous owners! SHOW ME THE MANFAX
Weird is just a side effect of being awesome.
I have no problem texting while driving, but I won’t text while going down stairs. That sh!t’s dangerous.
“Too much milk left need more cereal” always leads to “too much cereal need more milk”
Why isn`t there a roomba that cuts grass? Probably some stupid law about sending a blade wielding robot out into the neighborhood.
Dear Gangsta: If you pulled up your pants a little you could run from the cops faster.
I didn’t say “what?” because I can’t hear you. I was giving you a chance to change what you said.
Adding "and sh!t" at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.
Why Couldn`t Snoop Dogg & Dr.Dre Get On The Bus ... Because They Forgot 50 Cent
Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?
People at airports must not workout much because they are all using these treadmills wrong...
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.