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I don’t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it.
Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it`s Wednesday.
SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they`re smart, confident, and aware they don`t need us, so yeah, you should be worried.
If by crunches you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes I do crunches.
My mom always said that I`d never find a man dumb enough to marry me. Well, I showed her...
No one ever said life was easy, but several people did say that you were.
There’s nothing better than when someone you know walks by without recognizing you.
Sorry, everyone, it looks like my Facebook account was hacked by tequila last night...
I`m glad the Dentist calls me the day before to remind me to cancel my appointment.
Why do sandwiches taste so much better when they are cut diagonally?
The funny moment when a fat kid says "that`s how I roll".
I don`t have a drinking problem ... I`m just really thirsty.
It seems like the ‘L’ in my luck has been replaced with an ‘F’.
This strip mall certainly is misleading And I probably should put my clothes back on now.
I`m sorry. . . I didn`t mean to stare. . . it`s just that I have never seen stupid of this magnitude up close before