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Why didn`t Spider-Man`s enemies just move to a city without skyscrapers?
I don’t mean to alarm you but you know those people in your office that can’t work the fax machine? They’re driving home on the same roads.
when girls say bye .......... may be it means buy something for her.....
Seeing a spider isn`t a problem. It becomes a problem when the spider disappears.
Hey! Did any of you see my........ Oh ! Never mind... :D How much of you said that before? heee heee hee!
Don`t be sad laundry, nobody`s doing me either.
Never underestimate the power of a hug. Or a slap upside the head. Whatever works.
If an officer asks “do you know why I pulled you over?” “Because it’s the only way to get girls to talk to you” is a bad answer, apparently
Girlfriend said she felt she looked fat, tired, and ugly. Said she needed a compliment. I told her that her eyesight was nearly flawless.
Dear Santa: I have been good for the past week or so. Lets just focus on that.
I bet acting like azzholes on the Internet all day wasn`t where most of us visioned our lives to be right now.
There`s nothing more terrifying than accidentally making eye contact with a mall kiosk worker.
A world without Facebook would be much more productive.
Look!!! I am always here for you no matter what,OK? unless there is something good on tv or I`m eating pie
You had me at 0 mutual friends