Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I read "Do not believe everything you read." Now I`m not sure whether to believe this or not.
With the right person, you can talk about absolutely nothing for hours & feel like you spoke about everything.
Recipes sound good until you realize that you don`t have $846 worth of spices in your house.
I was reading that it takes the average man four minutes to have sex, and he’s asleep eight minutes after that. This sounds very dangerous, because by then most men are driving home.
If you hear a roommate having loud sex, a cool thing to do is kick down the door and shout "player 3 has entered the game!"
Laughter is not the best medicine. Laughter with large amounts of alcohol & wild crazy monkey sex - now that`s the best medicine.
Why is it that whenever you dial a wrong number, somebody always answers?
Take Note: a stress ball can be used for throwing at people who stress you out.. You`re Welcome..
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
If people could hear the next five seconds after we hit end call, we would all have no friends.
Girlfriend: No, you hang up... Me: (click)
I`m sorry officer, I thought you wanted to race.
Some people are good listeners. Mostly, though, they`re just nodding and thinking about bacon.
Let’s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.
Today I´m going to entertain the kids with a game of duct, duct, tape.