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Easter can be just as much fun as an adult as it was as a child. Just paint and hide beer cans instead of eggs.
India launched a rocket to Mars yesterday… That’s a heck of a place to put a call center.
We`re all just nudists in disguise.
Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off of the floor is another story.
My three biggest fears are mouses, wolfs & proper pluralization.
I`ve taken my kids all over the country, but their favorite place to be is still "in the way."
Heat causes things to expand, so I`m not fat; I`m just hot.
I think...therefore, I am.....single
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
I`m sorry, all I hear is your perfume
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You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
My Facebook movie is already in the dollar bin at Walmart.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell. :)
A spider just tried to crawl across my hand and now how do you extract a fork from bone without causing more damage?