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Let me get this straight…a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out…and still be afraid of a spider?
I’ve been in this McDonald’s restroom for over an hour, waiting for an employee to wash my hands.
Ha = I didn`t find that funny. Haha = That was funny. Hahahahaha = I want to sleep with you.
Making a woman laugh is one of the keys to winning her heart, unless she’s laughing at your junk.
Heat causes things to expand, so I`m not fat; I`m just hot.
I`m changing my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this
Why would anybody put 99 bottles of beer up on a wall in the first place?
Your giving me the silent treatment??? FKN FINALLY!!
Like if you remember the correlation between a pencil and a cassette tape ...
Some parts of the world use Facebook to overthrow evil dictators. Me? I just want you all to know how delicious my sandwich is.
With my background and genetics, you guys should be happy I am half as normal as I am.
And all this time I thought a chickpea was when women went to the bathroom in groups.
When it comes to f*cking around, I don`t f*ck around.
All I know about sex is from Internet Porn, I`ve tried everything except `Buffering`.
Did you hear about the homeless guy that tried selling me meth?.... Yeah it was Bumcrack.