Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
I`m a huge fan of screaming "You`re welcome" really loud when people don`t say thank you...
Telling a girl to calm down is like trying to baptize a cat.
It`s weird how we are all here because of boners
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
Scientist Proved That There are more Than 124786534688644478 People Living In This world who are Too Lazy To Read The Above Number...!!!
Drinking coffee is a fun way to become dependent on paying money to wake up.
Lay-Z: My rapper name.
If you are going to write in the dust on my car, please dont date it
The lady next to me in the elevator told me to press One. That was the last thing I remembered
Cleaning a house while toddlers are in it is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.
You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you’ll see a wedding ring.
I`ve been single for a while and I have to say, it`s going very well. Like... It`s working out. I think I`m the one.