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On a scale from 0 to insane, I`m Batman!
I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
Mom: "Why is everything on the floor?" Me: "Gravity, Mom."
what does bgif mean on a friday night ? ... boobs go in front
When I woke up today, I had no plans to be awesome, it just happened.
I`d rather run into the four horsemen of the apocalypse than a group of women out on a "girls` night."
The secret to eternal life and happiness could be hidden in the Terms & Conditions and we would never know.
Probably the most exciting feature on the new Iphone is the way it upgrades simple phone theft into full on finger removal.
This headache feels like dumb people
I either get what I want or I change my mind!
Have you ever noticed the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
I like people... From a distance.
I totally understand how batteries feel because I`m never included in things either
i only drink on days that end with y
People hiking with a giant stick never seem any better at hiking than the rest of us.