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Adam: Eve, you read the terms and conditions before using that Apple product right? Eve: Uh yeah, totally
You`re as useless as a referee in the WWE
So I didn`t want to wake up this morning and go to work. It`s not that I don`t like my job, it`s just that I like being lazy more.
why do wise people never make wisecracks?
I was in a bar when a girl called me a cheapskate. So I threw her drink in her face.
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend
Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let`s try to leave better kids for our planet.
Facebook: A place where people, who know so little about anything, have so much to say about everything.
It’s never too late for a coffee. After all it’s always morning somewhere in the world.
Cheers to alcohol! The cause of, and solution, to all of life’s problems!
I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullsh!t.
Buy all your socks in one color - problem of the missing sock solved!
come on people driving is just like coloring, just stay inside the lines.
Why does McDonalds call it a drive thru when you have to drive AROUND the building?
If the cupcake has some green sprinkles on it, it`s a vegetable, right?