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Do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren`t talking?
Sometimes, I`ll start a text with "lol" if it might be a sensitive subject. Like, "lol it`d be cool if you moved out."
I went to a vegan restaurant once. Wait, no, that was just a florist.
New documentary movie about white trash ... I only saw the trailer...
Who me? Oh I`m just waiting for my husband to apologize for something I did wrong...marriage is fun
ROFL!!….. LOL jk i’m still in my chair.
Hope you don`t mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions.
I`d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
"Wish You Were Beer!" Wait...no...that`s right...send.
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie.
I just heard a woodpecker call me a `paranoid old weirdo` in morse code.
You know that old saying? If you seen one woman naked. You want to see all women naked.
If I had a penny for everytime I heard you bitch at me I`d have enough money to invest in a hitman
It’s not pretty being easy.