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I`ve actually have come to the conclusion that some of today`s youth may actually believe "laughing out loud" is actually spelled "lol"
When I see you in hell I`ll still ignore you
This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it`s contagious.
I really don`t have time for people that don`t find me hilarious.
Mosquito landed on my friend`s face; easiest decision of my life.
Light travels faster than sound. That`s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Karma’s only a bitch if you are.
Every once in a while I check up on people I hate to make sure I still hate them… I do.
I put the "fun" in "functioning alcoholic"
You`d think he`d be better at this with all the porn he watches
When you have the opportunity to become a bigger person, take it because cake is delicious.
I`m an accident looking for a place to happen!
The first rule of elevator club is don`t talk to other members of elevator club.
Honey, You really don`t need to drive me crazy, I am close enough to walk.
Me and my cat have been staring at each other for so long I forgot which one of us is stoned.