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I hate Cheetos stains on my peignoir.........
Guests are coming over for Thanksgiving... Almost time to booby trap the medicine cabinet with marbles.
I wish my personality allowed me to write deep and meaningful statuses sometimes, oh well. Titties!
Remember when the world ended last year?
Thank you Pringles for being the only chip company that doesn`t sell air.
Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses.
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My bank lets me send a text message and it´ll text back with my balance. It´s a cool feature but I didn´t think the LOL was necessary.
You know when I was younger I was under the impression that quick sand was going to be a serious issue in life...
LIKE if you hide your favorite food from your family
I`m flattered that you took time out from your lack of a life to judge mine.
My only trick for looking younger, is when an 80`s song comes on I try to look completely confused and slightly disgusted.
"How`s phone reception in the bathroom?" is an important question, but one you just can`t ask on a job interview.
I wonder if Earth makes fun of the Moon for having no life.
The difference between me & normal people is the normal